Pawn

Pawn

I
A pawn of blond wood stained dark is easily stranded
in shadows of a book box kept by fear for last—
the shelves already full.  A pawn has one chance
to jump forward, claim the center, creating space
for others to attack or, sitting pretty, bait
a royal gambit.  In other end games the pawn
promoted, replaces the queen and mates.  It takes us
years to master his tears when every time I won.

II
Jack and I play over drinks—his orangina,
my red wine—awaiting mom and Libby.
His eyes on mine, I hold two pawns behind my back.
He taps the shoulder holding white.

III
Lit by windows facing dusk, a surgeon preps a
wound—extracting school work, baseball cards and useless
gamecube games.  Familiar fear shames me.  I clench
the board unfolding.  It is easy to sacrifice a pawn.
A Jeux Morize set includes a ninth white
because we can’t refinish a black pawn white.
I know what it takes to lose the missing piece.

IV
Love kills en passant.

V
Guilt stands alone
shame needs another.
One child dead
the other thriving.
It’s really too late now
to fix the broken clasp.
If we play again, they say,
it won’t be on this board.