Will not Fly

All the talk about a shady picnic bench and a slight
breeze keeping gnats at bay, is it about birds
or my personal comfort? The sun’s been up for hours.
I sip coffee. I do not slosh around cold wetlands
before dawn cracks wide open, stalking noisy wrens
and blackbirds and waterfowl of various types,
nor am I stingy with butter. Just the other day I told Hilary
I wanted to spot baby crows. Baby crows must be big,
or we’d have noticed. The mob of crows on the front lawn,
the sidewalk, on the power lines running through red maples,
the fledglings must be right in front of us this time of year.
Is this poem a way of sharing the daily banalities
the way cliff swallows do, effecting a relationship?
Or that pair of crows, now, on a limb halfway up a cedar,
one is squawking so much the other goes flying. The one
left behind cawing, cawing. It does not leave its branch;
it will not fly. Is its beak a tad smaller? Smoother?
Caw! This loudmouth picks at lichen. Not finding
what it wants it inches forward, lifting a wing to find
its balance. It shouts Mother! She damn well better get back
with some choice bit of lunch and feed me! Father!
All that time right in front of me. If I were dressed in black
feathers and you could see light refracting sometimes brown,
sometimes violet blue; if my crow’s feet were obscured

by feathers, if you weren’t one of us could you tell us apart?

But What about the Honey?

-         - September, 2015

There was only one candidate, really, that had so many opposite pairs

of small rounded leaves.

We saw it first, if you ever see anything a first time,

waiting for the bus to Orient.

The field guide insisted on thorns. Long thorns, strong enough

to nail shingles to a roof.

And pods full of seeds swimming in pulp that tasted of honey?

It was a legume for god's sake.

Its roots probably bound nitrogen.

I trusted its identity when I found the female.

Her branches were sagging. She was overwhelmed
with pods--weeping like a willow.

What towns wanted were fruitless, thornless males.

Fewer seedlings to weed. Less bird shit

smeared across windshields. Can one female keep parked rows
of males healthy? Will they keep her

brimming with seeds each fall? Why do poems about stones,
tumbling in forever receding waters,

make me so fucking sad?

The Mournful Song of the Varied Thrush

In the early days before the internet,

before all these portable devices,
before location – you remember –

how did we know when the sun would rise?

How did we know those long clear notes

coming through the trees
are sung by a solitary thrush?

We don’t need to know to stop and listen,
but give his loss a name and others might hear.

When you are a crow and you are

forever looking down on people,
do you find you still think highly of them?

Terre Verte

Terre Verte

The ripe red tomato was green first

and will return to green earth

when the pink and red flesh

fades to feed next seasons baskets of fruit.

The Tusquittee Painting Queens

laid down an undercoat of terre verte

to neutralize the red and pink

and make cheeks and hands glow

Hands that cup a butterfly, a hummingbird

Hands that hold a newborn or follow your

lover around the dance floor

Chloe made a warm space

for the Tusquittee Queens to paint and drink tea

To Chloe, from a distance,

you were loved by all.

I stroked her cheek

brushed her hair back from her eyes

I held her hand in mine

as in prayer

and promised her

I would love her the rest of my life

To Chloe, from a distance,

This could be you here

and me there

spread across the green earth.

Prayer from Gray’s River

Prayer from Gray’s River

When a mother kills the light in her son’s eyes
god moves stone like water for miles
and ash rains for months.

I collect mudstone from a bleached river bed
exposed by floods that come
most winters. I build

a cairn on my window sill. If I leave
the cairn sit memories leach
away so sometimes

when I’m strong I take a piece and taste the grit.
The last time I admonished Jack
I can’t recall my words

but under a glaring sun, I see his flushed cheeks,
his sweat-matted hair brushed back. I see
tears as he watches me

instruct him to work harder with the same eyes
that challenged his mother. It’s not like
I’m going to die!

he vowed two nights before she drugged him and
drowned him with a pillow.

The memory is unlithified--I return it
gently--undo only the slightest
flake with my breath.

(previous draft: click here.)

Approaching getting louder

Approaching getting louder

Listening from other rooms

to half answers half heard about school

I close my eyes, think of trees

and husband my fathering opinions.

I can ignore a car backfiring,

the curdling screams of bleeding cats,

the helicopter throbbing overhead,

but news about her hard day

or planned family outings

sends me readying. Listen.

My ringing ears hear gasoline drip

in every mothering voice.